
"ONE: smiling at me in a cowardly, ingratiating way when I met him this noon.
TWO: wearing a dripping-wet shirt and explaining that he had taken a shower in the fountain at the park - just like an old bum.
THREE: deciding arbitrarily to spend the night out with Mother, thereby placing me in an awfully isolated position.," (81).
He than decides to erase the third note because it is contradicting to the first two notes. The fact that he decides to keep a diary to write down reasons further establishes Noboru as an immature character. Realistically, it is evident that Noboru wants to afflict pain and suffering on Ryuji, so he does not need a list of reasons to justify his hatred, except for the single reason that he is with his mother. This is just like in Hamlet, when a supernatural figure must come and tell Hamlet to reassure his need to kill Claudius, even though he knows that he is furious that his uncle is marrying his mother instantly after his father's death. Raskolnikov from Crime And Punishment also needs to assure himself of his self-doubt several times in his head that he can get away with murder, just so that he can actually carry it out. The next time Noboru writes in his "diary" is in the second part of the novel, Winter, and is instantly in Chapter 1:
"THREE: answering, when I asked when he would be sailing again: "I'm not sure yet."
FOUR: coming back here again in the first place.," (105).
This occurs on New Year's eve when Ryuji returns to celebrate New Years with Fusako. Many months have passed by, and we'd think that Noboru should've matured even a little by now, but he is still his same old self, and still hates Ryuji. His next two diary entries, seem to me, to be more naive and immature than the entries he had written before Ryuji has left.
Suppose Noboru were to end his grudge against Ryuji, would Noboru be able to become the respectable "man" that not only Fusako wants him to become, but all of society?